I have been thinking.....
It is NOT right that I should continue living my life this way.It's been hanging long enough and lately the urge is getting stronger and stronger.
I feel like at any moment of time this month,writes a resignation letter, gives one month notice and say good bye.
It is very UNHEALTHY if I keep on living like this.
With a piece of heart that is so dull,sad and worrying always.It is a kinda fear,burden that is getting heavier as time pass.I could not sleep in total peace and hence always wake up feeling unrefresh.
I feel sick!

It is just e matter of time as of when will I quit!
I thought of hanging on till mid next year coz I fear that should I cant get into NIE,there is still a backup career for me.
But now..I am not gonna hold that long.I will be turning myself to Woodbridge sooner or later.

I wanna take a break for good.
Maybe a short holiday or something next year.Mum and dad is gg back to China after new year next year.If i quits on Jan,I have a good mind of joining them and Yng is interested in coming along.

But what is holding me back is Jason,if that is my plan.Unless he goes to NS before Feb,if not I dont think I would wanna leave before he enrolls in.
Anyway this is not very impt,I can always take a break elsewhere with Yng.

I think ..no..i dun think but I WILL quit coming next year.
I will hand in my resignation after my confirmation date on the 26th,just in case she den decides to withdraw my lil increment.I will cook a damn lame sad excuse as my reason and nothing is stopping me from leaving.
I will do until december final closing,which ends on Jan 7th or 8th den I will say good bye.

I wanna take a short break before plunging myself into another career which will leads me to regret again!I dont wanna do what I OUGHT to be doing for once,but do whatI should be doing!
I didnt have any break at all and I badly need that.
Then I will slowly plans what I wanna do.
Get into NIE,doing what I like doing.
Like picking up my cuisine etc.:)

I am still so young and I wanna enjoy what I am doing!
That is right,right?
I am sure Jason and Yng will support me,right?
Suddenly I feel very much relieved thinking of all these.Feel so much lighter and happier.
I have never been clearer than now.

Though it is still one more month,but at least now...I see a light in that long dark tunnel.

That settles..tml..I will carry on doing my work..
Then these few days I would project a very sad,vexed image.Then come month end,I would talk to D.B and insist on my resignation!Now that is the tough part!
Then I will still happily get my AWS and one month more pay.Then after the final closing,I will pack my stuff and go.

I dunno how life is gonna be afterwards.For better for worse,this is life and I wanna experience it all.Dont ask me to think it through again,I wont!

Agh............